My Personal Grieving Testimony

While writing this material, it brought me back to where I'd been. This is my personal grieving story.

Four and a half years ago, I came back to a small town in Texas, where I grew up. I came back because I had suffered some terrible financial setbacks in business. My Dad promised to help me to get back into business if I moved back to my hometown where he and my mother lived. So, I came back to Texas with my tail between my legs and very wounded. I felt beaten down by the system. Having done alot of personal healing work, processed a divorce, somewhat skilled in family dynamics, and familiar with interpersonal counselling, I was determined to re-bound from my wounds. Shortly after my arrival in Small-town, Texas, a town of which I thought I'd never return, I found myself setting up a new business and back in the dynamics from which I came. Because of the healing work, I was able to stay out of the dynamics of that system, but I could certainly understand and observe it. Within 2 months of being back in Hometown, Texas, I discovered my Dad had terminal cancer with a short-term life expectancy. I felt very confident that I could handle his dying since I'd done alot of death and dying counselling. I took off of work for the last month of his life. My mother and I kept Dad at home and with the help of a local hospice maintained a comfortable space for Dad's dying.

During his last month, my Dad and I reached a level of resolution that was far beyond any family system work I'd ever done. His dying has been one of the most important things that has ever happened in my life. A small, young child inside of me got healed in many ways. It came with joy and tears. The words from this dying man's mouth helped heal the wounds of the words that damaged me so long ago. It was a great gift, and I grieved. The same stages that I present here at this web site, I went through.

Retrospectively, I would not have experienced this resolution and healing if the events and circumstances had not happened the way that they did. Now I can take the good from my past and leave the not-so-good where it belongs, in my past. I stand in this place of love, praise, and gratitude to God for this resolution and am proud of whom I am.